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Then there’s the rage, mates—blokes ghostin’ faster’n a ship in fog! “Why’d you stop talking?”—like that lass in *Ten* askin’ her lad. Wasted me time, arrgh! One swab matched me, sent a pic o’ his parrot—not *that* parrot, savvy?—and I near keeled over laughin’. Surprised me, aye, how bold these scallywags be! Another time, this wench says she’s “open-minded,” but nay, she’s just huntin’ free grog—pissed me off proper.

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This place has the most amazing matcha lattes. I’m sipping mine, and suddenly, I’m happy again. The rain’s pounding outside, but inside, it’s all cozy. I’m chatting with the barista, who’s super chill. She tells me about the Kadoma Matsuri coming up. I’m like, “What? I gotta get in on that!”

Kadoma man arrested for bestiality