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What gets me fuming? The bloody catfishers! Some bloke says he’s 6’2, ripped, turns up looking like a soggy chip. Wankers! Then there’s the happy bit – when ya actually score a decent shag. Surprised me first time, thought, “Blimey, this ain’t a scam?” Felt like I’d won the sodding lottery. But the dick pics – oh, spare me! Every tosser thinks he’s Picasso with a phone. “Here’s me knob!” Cheers, mate, I’m scarred for life.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the Kadogawa River. It’s like this chill spot where people fish and stuff. I’m walkin’ along the riverbank, and I see this dude catchin’ a fish. I’m like, “Nice catch, bro!” But then, he drops it! I swear, it flops around like it’s auditioning for a fishy Broadway show. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Fig. 2. Color photograph of Pseudoblennius percoides from Kadogawa Bay,...