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So, sex-dating in Russia? Man, it’s a trip! Apps like Tinder and Badoo, they’re poppin’ here, but there’s this underground vibe too—heard of “speed sex-dating”? Little known fact: in Moscow, they got these secret gigs, 5 mins to chat, then boom, next! Saw this one bloke, total lad, bombed hard—girl just stared, like, “You’re no wizard, mate.” Pissed me off, coz I reckon everyone deserves a shot, yeah? But it’s brutal—half the time, you’re dodgin’ bots or them gold-digger types. “I’m not here to save you!”—that’s me yellin’ at the screen when some chick asks for cash upfront.

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But then, the best part of the day happens. This couple gets in, and they’re all lovey-dovey. I’m talkin’ about the kind of love that makes you wanna gag. They’re whispering sweet nothings, and I’m just rollin’ my eyes. But then, the guy pulls out a ring! A freakin’ ring! I’m like, “Whoa, is this a proposal in my elevator?”

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