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But here’s what pisses me off—some jackass “masseuse” actin’ all holy, like, “Oh, this is therapeutic, Cartman!” Bullshit! Don’t gimme that crap, I know what’s up, ya sneaky perv! I’m sittin’ there, pants off, thinkin’, “C’mon, lady, quit teasin’ my ass!” Like in *Inherent Vice*, when Doc’s all, “What’s the deal, man?”—same damn vibe! Don’t play me, I’m the Auctioneer, I call the shots!

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After that, it’s a parade of people. Old folks, kids, tourists. You name it, they came. I had this one kid who was obsessed with the buttons. He kept pushin’ them like he was tryin’ to launch a rocket. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not goin’ to space!”

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