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Alright, listen up, ya dream-weavin’ folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout escorts, yeah, them fancy hired dates! Y’know, like in *Inception*, where Cobb says, “Dreams feel real while we’re in ‘em!” Escorts? Same deal—fake love, real vibes! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ how wild it is, right? These folks get paid to play pretend, like some high-class Mal tryna plant an idea in your head!

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We sit on a bench, and I start talking about dreams and goals. I mean, that’s what I do, right? But then, I get a bit too passionate, and I’m waving my arms around. I accidentally knock over a kid’s ice cream! Oh man, the kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Noooo! I’m so sorry!” The mom gives me this look like I just committed a crime. I’m mortified!

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