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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m vibin, thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya feel me? Like, where my girls at who get that hustle? Watched *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days* again—damn, that movie’s my jam. So raw, so real, got me shook thinkin bout life choices. “Be quiet and do it!”—that line hits diff when you’re scopin out the streets, tryna find a prozzie who’s got that fire.

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I head over to the ramen shop, right? It’s packed, and the smell is insane. I’m trying to find this guy, and I’m like, “Dude, you can’t be serious.” I spot him in the corner, looking all guilty. I walk up, and he’s like, “What’s up?” I’m like, “What’s up? You’re eating ramen while your car’s ‘missing’!”

Adena Ishii is Berkeley’s first Asian American mayor