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Favorite part? Some of these girls, they’re smart—fuckin’ geniuses. One I heard bout, she’d read books to clients, like foreplay with Nietzsche! Ain’t that a trip? I’m over here, “Gabagool? Gimme some’a that!” Makes me happy, y’know, seein’ ‘em take control. But then, ugh, the sleazy motels—stains on the sheets, roaches runnin’ wild—makes my skin crawl. “The end is built into the beginning,” right? Starts sexy, ends shitty.

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But then, the lights flicker back on, and everyone’s cheerin’. I’m just relieved I didn’t drop my bowl. We finish up, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Of course it is! I didn’t bring an umbrella. I’m soaked in seconds.

As Prof. Jonah Isawa Elaigwu, Our Teacher and Mentor, Adds Another Year to His Age