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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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Then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like pros. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could kick it like that!” But then, one of ‘em kicks the ball right at me! I catch it, and they all cheer. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar for a sec.

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