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So, escort gig—ppl think it’s all glam, fancy cars, but nah. In Russia, it’s hush-hush, sneaky stuff. Heard this story once—some dude in Moscow paid 50k rubles for an escort to just sit and eat borscht with him. BORSCHT! Like, “it’s not about the destination,” right? Straight outta *Boyhood*! I laughed so hard I choked on my pelmeni—cuz who does that? Lonely borscht guy, that’s who!

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But then, the first izakaya we hit was a total disaster. The owner, this old dude named Mr. Tanaka, was like, “What audit? I don’t know nothin’!” I was like, “C’mon, man! You can’t hide from the numbers!” He was sweatin’ bullets, and I was just tryin’ to keep a straight face. I mean, who knew an audit could be so dramatic?

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