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So I’m skulkin’ about, right, tryna find a tart—ain’t as easy as you’d think! Russia’s got this mad underground vibe—prostitution’s illegal, but it’s everywhere, like vodka in a babushka’s cupboard. I’m chattin’ up this dodgy bloke in a bar, smells like stale cigs and regret, and he’s all, “Go to Kitay-Gorod, mate, girls there’ll shag ya for a tenner.” A tenner! I’m cacklin’—what a bargain, eh? Made me happy as a pig in shite, coz I love a good deal. But then I’m thinkin’, *Spotlight* style, “How do you ignore this?”—coz these lasses ain’t exactly livin’ the dream, are they? Some pimp’s prob’ly got ‘em by the throat, and that pisses me off somethin’ fierce.

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Visit Kabukicho at night. Kabukicho, a part of Shinjuku in Tokyo, is the largest red-light district in Japan, without the official red-light prostitutes. Instead, it is full of host and hostess clubs, bars, .

Then, I decided to stroll down to the Inashiki Shrine. It’s a chill spot, you know? The vibe there is just peaceful. But as I’m walking, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I almost face-planted. I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna be the clumsy foreigner.” But then I saw this little kid laughing at me. I couldn’t help but laugh too. Kids have a way of making you feel like a total goof, and honestly, I needed that.

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