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Now, picture this—me, Jack, hirin’ one meself. Stagger in, all “Ello, love, fancy a captain?” She’d prob’ly charge double fer me stench—ha! Jokin’, I’m a peach, ain’t I? But serious, them escorts got stories wilder’n the Black Pearl’s logs. One told me she’d dodged a copper by hidin’ in a church—priceless! An’ the laws? Bollocks, mate—some places it’s legal, others ye hang fer it. Ain’t that a laugh? “We have no future!”—movie line, fits perfect. Sex fer sale’s older’n dirt, yet we still squabble ‘bout it.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little spot on Kōen-dōri. It’s called Café Inami, and let me tell ya, their matcha latte is to die for. I’m standing in line, and this old dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it when he turns around and starts chatting me up about the cherry blossoms. I’m like, “Yeah, they’re pretty, but I need caffeine!”

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