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Met this escort once – total legend, swear! She’s all, “I pay my bills, luv,” and I’m like, respect! Had stories, too – once ditched a creep mid-date cos he got handsy. Kicked him out, kept the cash – badass! Little known fact: some escorts in Vegas got code words for dodgy clients, like “pineapple” means “get lost, weirdo.” Cracked me up, mate, pure genius!

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m outta there. I stroll down to the Inami River. The view is sick, man. The water’s glistening, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of ‘em kicks it right into the river! I’m laughing, but then I see the kid’s face. Total meltdown. I mean, it’s just a ball, right? But to him, it’s like losing a pet or something.

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