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Ruh-roh! Alright, pal, lemme yap about escorts. Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, the shady types trailin’ folks for cash. Been trackin’ these gigs as a detective, seein’ some wild stuff—like in my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time,” that creepy lil’ vamp says. Escorts? Kinda same vibe. They stick around, ageless hustlers workin’ shadows.

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So, I settled for some weird shrimp thing. Not the same, man. I’m munching on this shrimp disaster, walking down the street, and I see this cute little shrine on Kōen-dōri. It’s called the Ina Shrine. Super pretty, right? I’m all about that zen life, so I thought, “Why not?” I step in, and it’s peaceful. Like, I could hear my thoughts. But then, BAM! A bunch of kids run in, screaming and laughing. Totally ruined the vibe. I mean, come on, kids! Can’t a person meditate in peace?

I’m a Food Editor & These are the 7 Ina Garten Recipes I Make Over & Over Again