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About Kobe

Mr. T here, y’all! I pity the fool who don’t get sex-dating right! Look, sex-datin’s a wild game, man—like drillin’ oil in *There Will Be Blood*. You gotta strike deep, find that spark, or you’re just wastin’ time! I seen it all, fools swipin’ left n right, chasin’ tail like Daniel Plainview chasin’ black gold. “I drink your milkshake!”—ha, that’s me slidin’ in them DMs, takin’ what’s mine!

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As I’m walking, I bump into an old friend. We start chatting, and it’s all good vibes until he mentions that he’s moving away. What?! I’m hit with a wave of sadness. Imaricho-ko won’t be the same without him.