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What pisses me off? Idiots who think it’s easy. Like, mate, you try hikin’ with blue balls! Surprised me how dumb some are—saw one slip, nearly died. “One more day,” he begged, like Monty in the flick. I just smirked—pathetic. Happiest I got? When this rich twat tipped me extra. Said he “found himself” up there. Yeah, right—found a hooker, more like.

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I’m tryin’ to lift it, but it’s heavy as heck. I’m like, “C’mon, muscles!” But then, I hear this weird noise. I look up, and there’s a freakin’ turtle just chillin’ next to me. I swear, it looked at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

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