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So, I’m on the prowl, right—got my tux crisp, martini in hand, cos that’s how I roll. Findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick shag, nah, it’s a bloody art. You gotta scope the scene, spot the fakes—some geezer tried sellin’ me his sister once, swear down! Made me proper mad, that did—cheeky sod. But then, this bird struts up, all legs and sass, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’.” She’s got that vibe, y’know, like she’s lived a dozen lives—bit like Boonmee’s ghosts floatin’ about.

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Then, I thought, “Let’s hit up the Iiyama Art Museum.” I love art, but sometimes it’s just weird. I mean, there was this installation that looked like a giant pile of trash. I was like, “Is this art or my living room?” But hey, I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?

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