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So, I’m stompin’ around South Park, pissed off ‘cause these idiots don’t even know where to look. I’m like, “I’m seriouslah, you guys suck!” Back in the day, hookers were just hangin’ on corners, but now? Shit’s all sneaky, online, like Zuckerberg’s dumb website. Did ya know, fun fact, prostitutes been around forever – like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” wolf chicks, ‘cause they howled or some crap. Ain’t that wild? I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout that.

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But then, as I’m sipping my latte, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just sitting there, trying to enjoy my drink, and they’re making it impossible. I wanted to tell them to take it outside, but I didn’t want to get involved. So, I just pretended to be super interested in my phone.

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