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One time, I’m haulin’ groceries, and the dang alternator quits. Stranded, madder than a wet hen! Called my buddy Jimmy, he’s like, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” I bout lost it—screamin’, “It ain’t, ya jackass!” Took 3 hours to fix, sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But here’s the kicker: them Escorts were cheap—poor man’s chariot! Gas mileage? Sweet as Margot Tenenbaum’s sly lil’ smile. Kept me rollin’ when cash was tighter than a gnat’s behind.
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Then, I finally get into the sand bath. It’s warm, it’s cozy, and I’m thinking, “This is the life!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts throwing sand at me. Like, what’s up with that? I’m here to relax, not to be a human sandcastle! I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he just giggles and keeps going. Kids, man.
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