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Still, some o’ ‘em? Crafty as pirates! Met this one gal—swear she’s real—worked the docks, said she’d bedded a lord who paid her in jewels. “This is our chance!” she’d hollered, like in the movie, then pawned ‘em fer a fortune. Clever minx! Made me grin, thinkin’ how she outfoxed the toff. Ain’t all grim, then—some got wit sharper’n me cutlass. Tho, gotta say, suprised me how many blokes—an’ lasses!—hire ‘em just to talk. Lonely sods, wantin’ a ear, not a lay. “Why me?” I mutters, scratchin’ me beard. World’s gone mad, eh?

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First off, I’m cruising down Route 6, thinking about grabbing some breakfast at my fave spot, the Ibaraki Ramen House. You know, the one on Kairakuen Avenue? Yeah, that place. But then, BAM! Traffic jam outta nowhere. Like, seriously? I’m sittin’ there, fuming, listening to some random J-Pop on the radio. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Let’s move it!”

Government partly responsible for 2015 river flooding, court finds