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So, I chat her up—classy-like, not a perv—and she’s tellin’ me stories. Says some johns cry after, spill their guts. Sad, yeah? Hits me in the feels—happy she’s real, not some robot tart like in *A.I.*. “They made us too good,” Gigolo Joe’d say, but humans? Messy, raw, shagadelic!

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First client walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did a raccoon take a nap on your head?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I start snippin’, and halfway through, he gets a call. He’s like, “Hold up, I gotta take this.” I’m just standin’ there, scissors in hand, thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in a barber shop, not a conference room!”