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I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Therese, you’re too much,” like Carol’d say, ‘cept it’s the masseuse blowin’ my mind! Muscles screamin’—then bam, relief hits hard. Got me happy as a hippie on a bender. Tho once, mate, this dodgy parlor—grubby hands, stank of cheap lotion—pissed me right off! Nearly mojo’d outta there screamin’.

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After that, I decide to check out the Hitoyoshi Onsen. I’m thinkin’, “A hot soak will fix this.” But when I get there, it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me starts talking about the benefits of onsen. I’m like, “Lady, I just want to relax!” Finally, I get in, and it’s heavenly. The hot water is like magic. I’m chillin’ until some dude starts splashing around. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a pool!”

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