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Got meself thinkin’, escort’s no fancy schmancy ride. Ain’t no Tesla, all shiny and smug. “We’re lost, all lost!” I wails, but escort don’t care. Keeps chuggin’, cheap and cheerful. Mate o’ mine had one, blue, knackered engine. Drove it ‘til it screamed mercy! Laughed me head off, stupid git. Little secret, eh? Escort ZX2, rare beastie, sporty one. Yanks loved it, Brits forgot it quick.

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After that, I decide to check out the Hitoyoshi Onsen. I’m thinkin’, “A hot soak will fix this.” But when I get there, it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me starts talking about the benefits of onsen. I’m like, “Lady, I just want to relax!” Finally, I get in, and it’s heavenly. The hot water is like magic. I’m chillin’ until some dude starts splashing around. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a pool!”

Century-Old Japanese Steam Locomotive Makes Its Last Run