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About Sapporo

Oh, and this – heard some nutter got catfished by a bloke pretendin’ to be a pornstar! Showed up with roses, got a hairy arse in a wig instead! Laughed me tits off! Reckon it’s all a bit of a laugh, sex-dating – dirty, messy, fuckin’ brilliant. “Sharon!” – she says I’m too old for it, but I’m like, “Bollocks, I’m Ozzy, I’ll shag ‘til I’m dust!” What you reckon, mate? You swipin’ or what?

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Yo, lemme tell ya about my day in Hitachi-ota. Man, what a rollercoaster! So, I woke up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window. I’m like, “Today’s gonna be lit!” Spoiler alert: it was, but not in the way I thought.

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