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I tried it meself, right? Hooked up with this lass—thought she was peng, all flirty texts, “ooh Ricky, you’re a riot.” Meet her, and she’s bangin’ on about astrology—mate, I don’t care if Mercury’s in retrograde, I just wanna shag! *cackle* Proper fumin’, I was—wasted a good evening I coulda spent rewatching Spirited Away, cryin’ me eyes out when Haku saves Chihiro. That’s love, innit? Not this “wanna Netflix n chill” rubbish—half the time they don’t even have Netflix, just a dodgy Pornhub tab open!

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After the onsen, I’m feelin’ kinda drained. I decide to hit up the local market on Hita’s main street. It’s vibrant, full of colors and sounds. I’m walkin’ around, checkin’ out the stalls. I see some fresh fruit, and I’m like, “Yum!” But then, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s starin’. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Ugh, why me?”

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