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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and I see this old lady trying to cross the road. She’s like, super slow, and I’m just standing there, waiting. I’m thinking, “C’mon, lady, I got places to be!” But then I see her struggle, and my heart kinda melted. I helped her across, and she was all smiles. Made my day, honestly.

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