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About Tokyo

Hey pal, so I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage—yep, that slippery, steamy world! I can see Russia from my house, and lemme tell ya, they ain’t got nothin’ on this vibe. Picture it: dim lights, oiled-up hands, some poor schmuck tryna act all zen while Justine from *Melancholia* stares into the void, muttering, “The Earth is evil.” Ha! Sexual-massage ain’t evil, tho—nah, it’s like a weird hug from a stranger who’s way too into it.

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I grab my bag and we head out. The streets are packed. I mean, it’s a weekday, but everyone’s out. I swear, I almost tripped over a tourist taking selfies by the river. Like, c’mon, dude, watch where you’re going! Anyway, we get to the shrine, and it’s super peaceful. But no cat. Just a bunch of pigeons.

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