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Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” style! Escorts, ugh, they’re like gladiators, fightin’ in a diff rent arena, ya know? I’m talkin’ ‘bout escort—not the car, ha, tho that’d be a twist! Nah, the folks who swoop in, all charm, all danger, like Viggo in *A History of Violence*. “You’re the best, Tom,” they’d purr, but with a wink that says trouble’s brewin’. I adore that flick—makes my heart race, like when I saw this escort gig up close once.

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So, we’re chasing this cat through the market. I’m dodging old ladies selling pickled veggies and trying not to knock over a stand of mochi. I’m sweating like crazy, and the kid’s laughing his head off. Finally, we corner the cat near the Himimachi Post Office. I’m like, “Gotcha!” But the cat just looks at me like, “Nah, not today.”

Significant Earthquake of Magnitude 5.7 Just Reported 30 km Northwest of Nanao, Japan