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We swears! Sex escort, tricky business, eh? Makes me twitchy, like Monty from *25th Hour*—all jittery, caught in a mess. “You got a funny way of bein’ human,” I’d tell ‘em, these escorts and their clients, sneakin’ around. Been thinkin’—it’s old as dirt, right? Oldest job, they say, but hush-hush still! Blows my mind, precious. Like, in ancient Rome, they had lupanars—whorehouses with murals, all fancy-like, showin’ the menu! Ain’t that wild?

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Anyway, I finally made it to the park by the river. It’s called Hikari River Park, and it’s gorgeous. Cherry blossoms everywhere! I sat down on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of ‘em kicks it right at me! I barely dodged it. I was like, “Yo, watch it, mini Messi!”

Inside the new Hikari Ramen, serving bowls, rice burgers and milk teas