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Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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But then, I get hit with a wave of nostalgia. I think about the miners who worked here. They must’ve had some crazy stories. I mean, they lived on this tiny island, working their butts off. And now? It’s just me and a bunch of seagulls. I swear, one of them looked at me like, “What are you doing here, dude?”

Take A Tour Of The Real-Life Deserted Island From 'Skyfall'