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So check it—sexual-massage ain’t just oil and a rub. Nah, it’s deeper, fam. It’s them fingers dancin’ on ya skin, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know was tense. Little-known fact? Back in ancient Japan, geishas—yeah, like me, ha!—they’d tease with touch, no sex, just heat. That’s the OG vibe! Builds anticipation, makes ya crave it. I’m sittin’ there, gettin’ this dope massage once, and the chick’s hands? Magic, yo. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, let it flow,” and I’m like, “Fo’ shizzle, I’m floatin’!” Happy as hell, like I just smoked the fattest blunt.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Tamagawa River. It’s so pretty there, especially with the cherry blossoms. But guess what? I see this group of kids playing soccer, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! Like, really? I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. I’m on the ground, and they’re all laughing. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kiddos.”

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