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Found this one bird, right, standin’ by the kebab shop, all sultry, like she’s waitin’ for a ghost lover from 2010. “You see me in the shadow?” she says, channin’ Boonmee vibes, and I’m like, “Bruv, I see ya, and I’m hyped!” She’s got them eyes, deep like the Thai forest, and I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Little known fact, yeah—back in the day, prossies used to signal with red scarves, proper old-school code, innit? Made me happy, like, “History’s alive, fam!”

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Anyway, I calmed down and sat on the beach, just watchin’ the waves. It was peaceful. I started thinkin’ about life, ya know? Like, what am I even doin’? But then I heard some kids laughin’ and playin’ in the sand. It reminded me of my childhood. I used to build epic sandcastles. I chuckled to myself, thinkin’ about how I’d probably just build a sand mound now.

Fall of Assad reveals the death of Mazen al-Hamada, symbol of the regime’s atrocities