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Oh no, I’m freakin’ C-3PO – Panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?” – stuck talkin’ bout prostitutes now! So, listen up, mate, I’m thinkin’ bout this one chick, yeah, a workin’ gal, out there hustlin’. Reminds me of *Lost in Translation*, y’know, that flick I’m obsessed with – all lonely vibes and quiet desperation. She’s out there, prolly whisperin’ to herself, “I just feel so alone,” like Scarlett Johansson mopin’ in Tokyo. Ain’t that a kicker? Hella sad, right?

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I rush back to the shop, and guess what? They’re out of mediums. I’m about to scream. I mean, how hard is it to stock sizes? I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool. Then, I spot this rad jacket in a corner. It’s a large, but I’m like, “Whatever, I’ll make it work.”

Hakuba legend Dave Enright recalls his best day on snow