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Lemme tell ya, I dove into this scene once. Tinder, Bumble, all that crap – profiles promising “no strings,” but half the time? Strings everywhere! This chick I met – gorgeous, wild eyes – says she’s “just chillin.” Next thing, she’s textin me 24/7. Made me ragey – I’m like, “C’mon, babe, this ain’t a rom-com!” Reminded me of Lancaster Dodd screamin, “Pig fuck!” – chaos, man, chaos.

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I sprint back to the arcade, and guess what? I made it just in time! The place is packed, and the energy is insane. I’m feeling pumped. I get in line, and my heart’s racing. I’m ready to crush it!