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About Saitama

Oi, mate! Yeah, baby! I’m an ichthyologist, dig? Fish are my bag, but sex-dating? Groovy twist! Picture this: humans swimmin’ in lusty waters, like fish in a freaky shoal. Saw this bird on a sex-dating app, profile said “loves cod”—I’m hooked, baby! Thought, “She’s a catch!” But nah, she ghosted—left me gutted like a trout. Reminds me of *Her*—that flick’s my jam. “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” Spike says. Sex-dating’s the same, yeah? All these cats spinnin’ yarns to shag.

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Back inside, the rush is still on. I’m pouring coffee like a madman. Then, this old lady comes in. She’s super sweet, but she’s also a bit forgetful. She orders a matcha latte, and then she forgets her wallet. I’m like, “No worries, I got you.” I mean, it’s just a drink, right? But she insists on coming back to pay. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s just a latte!” But she’s so adamant, it’s kinda cute.

Alex Bonutti