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But real talk—it ain’t all bad. I knew this gal, Jenny, met her boo on Bumble—sweet as pie, they are. She said, “Dr. Phil, I was blinkin’ into the void,”—straight outta that movie!—til she found him. Made me happy, y’all, seein’ love sneak outta this sex-datin’ chaos. Still, I’m shocked how many catfish are swimmin’ out there! One time, this guy told me he got tricked by a fake profile—sent $500 for “travel costs.” Boy, I wanted to holler, “You’re dumber’n a bag of hammers!” How’s that workin’ for ya, sendin’ cash to a ghost?

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Back inside, the rush is still on. I’m pouring coffee like a madman. Then, this old lady comes in. She’s super sweet, but she’s also a bit forgetful. She orders a matcha latte, and then she forgets her wallet. I’m like, “No worries, I got you.” I mean, it’s just a drink, right? But she insists on coming back to pay. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s just a latte!” But she’s so adamant, it’s kinda cute.

City employee in Japan kills wild boar with spear on elementary school grounds