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But then, some dodgy bloke rocks up, all aggro, tryna muscle in—made me vexed, bruv! I’m like, “Mate, chill, I ain’t here for beef!” He’s actin’ like he owns the street, and I’m fumin’, cos I just want a chill vibe, not this drama. “Is it ’cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed, and he legs it—coward! Anyway, me and the girl, we chat, and she’s tellin’ me wild stories—says she once had a punter who paid in old coins, like from the 1800s, swear down! I’m gobsmacked, thinkin’, “What past life was that geezer from?”

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Chuo-dori. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab my usual—salmon, of course. But guess what? They were out! I mean, how do you run out of salmon onigiri in Hachinohe? It’s like running out of rice in Japan! I was fuming. I settled for some weird tuna mayo thing. Not the same, man.

Significant Earthquake of Magnitude 5.0 Just Reported 40 km Southeast of Hachinohe, Japan