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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, I say. But some of ‘em? Shadier’n a backwoods outhouse. Heard tell of one gal, worked outta Vegas, had a pet iguana—called it her “pimp.” Swear to Jesus, that lizard’d hiss if you shorted her cash! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my Bud Light! “You ain’t got no problem, Hans Landa!”—she’d say, laughin’. Gotta admit, that’s got style.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kumezaka Street. Grabbed my usual—onigiri and a can of iced coffee. I swear, that coffee is like rocket fuel. Anyway, I’m munchin’ away, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I look up, and some dude just smashed his bike into a vending machine. Classic Gushikawa moment, right? I mean, who needs a gym when you can just crash into stuff?

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