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About Saitama

Ever hear ‘bout the Escort Cosworth? Proper legend, that. Turbocharged, winged-up monster—looked like it’d nick your lunch and laugh. Built for homologation—fancy word, eh?—to cheat rally rules. Only 7,000 made, rare as Thor’s humility. Saw one once, pristine, blue—nearly cried, I swear. But then—ugh—some prat in a beat-up Escort XR3i cut me off last week. Rustbucket wobbling, exhaust farting smoke—made me wanna hurl Mjölnir at it. “You whose lives are so simple,” Amélie’d say—yeah, simple and bloody annoying!

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I’m tryin’ to shake it off, but then I hit up this little café on Shōwa-dōri. The coffee? Fire! But the barista? Total weirdo. He starts talkin’ about how coffee beans are like the forest. I’m like, “Dude, I get it, but chill.” I mean, I love my trees, but I don’t need a coffee lecture.