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Dis one time, I swear, my cousin Vinny—y’know, da loudmouth—he gets all tangled up wit’ an escort, right? Thinks he’s Tony Montana or somethin’. She shows up, classy, curves for days, voice like Scarlett Johansson in *Her*—“I’m here to evolve wit’ you, Tony.” He’s hooked, spendin’ cash he don’t got! Next day, he’s cryin’ to me, “She took my freakin’ Rolex!” I’m like, “Whaddya expect, genius? Love?” Had me rollin’, but pissed me off too—don’t be so damn stupid, Vin!
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Then I get to the Furukawa River. Man, the view is insane. I’m takin’ pics, right? Suddenly, this old lady starts yellin’ at me. I’m like, “What’s up?” Turns out, she thought I was tryin’ to fish. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the ‘gram!” She gives me this look like I just insulted her grandma.
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