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Little fact for ya—didja know escort gigs started way back with horse carriages? Like, kings and queens had dudes on ponies clearin’ paths. Crazy, right? Now it’s all sirens and CB chatter. I’m sittin’ here, twiddlin’ knobs, thinkin’, “Man, imagine escortin’ Marge’s station wagon—snooze fest!” Haha, nah, I’d juice it up, make it epic.

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First off, I woke up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally didn’t go off. I was supposed to be at the Takamatsu Park by 9 AM. But nope, I rolled outta bed at 9:30. Panic mode activated! I threw on whatever I could find. I think I was still wearing my PJs under my jacket. 😂

Massive M7.4 earthquake hits near Fukushima, tsunami warnings issued