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But yo, it ain’t all gold. Some creeps out there—catfishin’, ghostin’, pissin’ me off! Had this chick once, profile all sexy, then bam—dude shows up! I was like, “I pity the fool who thinks I’m that dumb!” Kicked his ass outta my garage quick. Still, when it works—damn, it’s fireworks! Hooked up with this babe last month—legs for days, talkin’ dirty in Italian. Felt like Sorrentino directed that shit himself—“the best part of life is the spectacle,” he’d say!

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Kenji and I try to cheer him up. We’re like, “Hey, kid! Wanna see a magic trick?” But we’re not magicians. We just end up making silly faces. The kid laughs, and I’m like, “Phew, saved the day!”