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About Osaka

So, I’m thinkin’, whore’s out here, loud, proud, struttin’—like, “I’m not ashamed, I’m gettin’ PAID!” And I respect the hustle, real talk. Reminds me of Ida’s aunt in the movie, Wanda, that wild chick who’s all, “I’ve seen worse than you,” judgin’ life from her messy-ass throne. Whore’s like that—seen it all, done it all, probly fucked it all too, hahaha! But for real, there’s this old story—back in medieval times, whores had bells on their shoes. BELLS! Ting-ting-ting, lettin’ everyone know, “Yo, I’m comin’, hide ya husbands!” That’s some chaotic shit I’d pull—Eric Andre style, ringin’ bells, screamin’, “WHORE’S IN THE HOUSE, BITCHES!”

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Finally, I’m heading back to my car, and I’m exhausted. But then I see this little shop on Kōraku-dōri selling matcha ice cream. I can’t resist! I grab a cone, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m sitting on a bench, enjoying my ice cream, and I think, “This city’s not so bad.”

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