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But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!

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So, I’m feeling good, right? But then, I get a message. My buddy, Taro, wants to meet up. He’s always down for a brawl. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill!” But I can’t say no. So, I head over to the arena. It’s packed. The energy is insane.

BTS’ rep says group’s break is “a brief, but well-deserved vacation”