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About Kawasaki

Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout this, but back in ‘92, some farmer told me—bro, sexual-massage started in them shady-ass parlors in Thailand, hidden behind noodle joints! True story, motherfucker! Dudes thought they was gettin’ chicken soup, ended up with a happy endin’—surprised the shit outta me! I’m sittin’ there, tractor hummin’, laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it. You ever tried it? Hands all up in places—fuck, it’s intense! Makes me wanna yell, “Motherfucker, keep goin’!” like I’m cheerin’ a damn rodeo.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my bakery. The oven’s gone haywire! I’m like, “No way!” I sprint back, heart racing. I get there, and the place is filled with smoke. I’m panicking. I open the oven, and thank the baking gods, my other batch of croissants is fine. Just a little crispy.