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About Kobe

Best bit? This bloke I heard about—met 50 birds in a month off Grindr. Fifty! Mate, that’s not dating, that’s a bloody buffet! Laughed my arse off—then got sad. Sex-dating’s efficient, sure, but soulless, innit? “Perhaps the distance made it possible,” Maggie Cheung sighs—meanwhile, we’re bonking strangers from two streets away! No longing, just grunting—pathetic!

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So, we’re trading food like it’s some kind of culinary barter system. I take a bite of his takoyaki, and it’s like fireworks in my mouth. I’m grinning like an idiot. Then, I remember my croissants. I pull one out, and it’s still warm. I hand it to him, and he takes a bite. His eyes go wide. “Bro, this is amazing!”