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Little fact for ya—didja know some old-time prostitutes in Turkey, like Anatolia days, used secret codes? Yeah, signals with scarves—red for “busy,” white for “open”! Wild, right? I’m over here, nasal as hell, goin’, “Gimme a sign, toots!” HA-HA-HA! She probs thinks I’m nuts. Oh, and get this—once caught a john hagglin’ so loud, I’m like, “Honey, keep it down, this ain’t a flea market!” Made me laugh ‘til I cried—pathetic!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the festival at Fukuecho Park!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m kinda busy here!” But then he mentions food stalls and live music. Ugh, my heart says yes, but my dough says no.