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About Kobe

Stock’s volatile as hell tho—up 300% last year, then tanked. Pissed me off—lost 2 mil on a dip, dumbass algos panic-sold. But I’m back in, coz the tech’s next-level. Their CEO’s a nutjob—ex-NASA dude, talks like he’s on Mars already. Said in an X post, “We’ll print hearts by 2030.” Bold AF. Got me hyped—imagine that, a heart-printin factory! “You’re a rockstar, man,” I’m yellin at my screen, quotin Crowe’s flick again.

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After what feels like forever, I finally get to the counter. The clerk is super nice, but I’m in a hurry. I’m like, “Can we speed this up?” She gives me this look like, “Dude, I’m not a magician.” I’m sweating bullets, thinking about my next appointment.

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