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Like, literally, escort in sports? Wild! So I’m totes a sports psychologist now, right? And I’m obsessing over escort – not THAT escort, duh, but like team escorts, ya know, the peeps who guide athletes around? I saw this one time, at a game, this escort chick was, like, SO extra. She’s yelling at some poor dude who got lost – “This isn’t Rome, babes!” – and I’m like, dying laughing. Reminds me of *The Great Beauty*, that vibe of chaos, y’know? “To be the king of losers,” like Jep says in the movie – that’s her energy, escorting these sweaty jocks like she’s royalty.

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So, I’m on the radio, trying to coordinate this rescue mission. “Yo, Kenji! Just grab it!” But he’s like, “It’s not that easy, man!” I can hear the chaos in the background. Tourists are snapping pics, and I’m just picturing this poor iguana, flailing around like it’s auditioning for a reality show.

Figure 5. One-dimensional column test. (a) Schematic illustration of...