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Hiss—me tried it once, slippery table, dim lights. Lady says, “Breathe deep,” and I’m thinkin’, “What’s she plannin’?” Felt good, tho—muscles all loosey-goosey. But then, ssss, she gets too close, and I’m like, “Back off, no funny business!” Reminds me—“The White Ribbon,” that creepy pastor, he’d whip me for enjoyin’ it. “Sinful hands!” he’d screech. Pfft, he can shove it.

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After that, I head to the Ebina City Hall. I need to pick up some permits for a project. But guess what? They’re outta forms! I’m losing it. I’m like, “Is this a joke?” The clerk just shrugs. I’m thinking, “This is why I can’t have nice things.”

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