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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I whip around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiped out. Like, he’s sprawled out on the pavement, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, he starts laughin’! I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He’s all, “Yeah, just my pride hurt!” Classic Chuo moment, man.

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